monkeys are getting it on!!!!!!

even monkey's love mountain dew

in the dark and luscious jungles immediately surrounding the sprawling metropolis of the hotmen colony, lives a strange yet compelling tribe of amazingly humanoid primates. once a dwindling species, they now have made an astounding resurgence so that today you can find at least one pair of these creatures procreating on about every procreatable surface in the jungle.

zoologists at the hotmen colony have meticulously documented the daily habits of this species identified by their scientific name, paniwarakas humpalotacus. as a result of diligent note taking and many toilet breaks behind bushes, we now know the habits of this wonderful yet strangely disturbing creature. males and females take on different forms with the female being the flashier of the pair, in contrast to the rest of the animal planet (for all the humpalots reading, example - peacock).


ralph fienne's cat mr. bojangles getting a hug from fienne's pet humpalot, cecilia.

an interesting bit of trivia about p.humpalotacus is that its mating call sounds a lot like "anneeeeyraveeeeeeleeeettttssdooooeet", which at one point misled the scientists to assume that it had near humanoid intelligence. however today they have realised that the female of the species is generally slower on the uptake and is taken to fits of hysteria at regular intervals for no particular reason. she is however adorable and to this day many good looking citizens of the hot men colony own their very own pet paniwarakas humpalotacus, and some of the more persuasive even manage to toilet train them.


a happy pair of humpalots

as a result of their non stop reproductive habits, the p. humpalotacus is no longer on the hotmen colony endangered animal watchlist. the management would like to encourage citizens to adopt and care for their very own humpalot.

one of the esteemed, most reverend, awfully good looking directors with her very own humpalot also told the writer that the only way to befriend a humpalot without doing it, is to feed it copious amounts of sangria. "it works everytime" she said.

germ alert!!!!!!

cheerleaders who contracted Mostlycontagious Junaidiaisis

Exclusive and Beautiful members of the colony have recently been forced to flee as the disturbing news of a deadly bacteria infecting their popular watering holes and communal gatherings broke. Unverified (and possibly not quite right in the head) sources say this bacteria is extremely harmful in spite of its misleading and bonny facade.

Hysterical giggling, an unquenchable thirst for Sake and an inexplicable desire to play frivolous games in public places are said to be symptoms induced by these germs.

Extensive scientific research conducted at the premier Top Secret Laboratory tucked away in the Hindu Kush has shown that this bacteria usually presents itself as a pair and also possesses a hitherto confined to B grade Sci-Fi films, ability to clone itself. Dr. Yin Yophace Beaches of the Top Secret Laboratory elaborated but we were unable to understand due to the HazMat suit covering his face.

Dr. Yin Yophace Beaches and colleague attempting to communicate

Mostlycontagious Junadiaisis or 'MJ' as its is more commonly known among the scientific community is extremely contagious and is likely to reach pandemic proportions with the latest case reported in Thailand.

Scientists warn that despite its benign appearance the bacteria is lethal and only Pynol or copious amounts of vodka based cocktails will slow its spread. The Hot Men Colony Expert Medical Fast Action Panadol team advice residents both hot and not so hot to stock up and use these items indiscriminately if they wish to remain safe.

The Directors have taken it upon themselves to be an example to the rest of the colony and were seen late this evening unconscious next to three empty bottles of Petroff Vodka and a carton of Tomato Juice.