monkeys are getting it on!!!!!!

even monkey's love mountain dew

in the dark and luscious jungles immediately surrounding the sprawling metropolis of the hotmen colony, lives a strange yet compelling tribe of amazingly humanoid primates. once a dwindling species, they now have made an astounding resurgence so that today you can find at least one pair of these creatures procreating on about every procreatable surface in the jungle.

zoologists at the hotmen colony have meticulously documented the daily habits of this species identified by their scientific name, paniwarakas humpalotacus. as a result of diligent note taking and many toilet breaks behind bushes, we now know the habits of this wonderful yet strangely disturbing creature. males and females take on different forms with the female being the flashier of the pair, in contrast to the rest of the animal planet (for all the humpalots reading, example - peacock).


ralph fienne's cat mr. bojangles getting a hug from fienne's pet humpalot, cecilia.

an interesting bit of trivia about p.humpalotacus is that its mating call sounds a lot like "anneeeeyraveeeeeeleeeettttssdooooeet", which at one point misled the scientists to assume that it had near humanoid intelligence. however today they have realised that the female of the species is generally slower on the uptake and is taken to fits of hysteria at regular intervals for no particular reason. she is however adorable and to this day many good looking citizens of the hot men colony own their very own pet paniwarakas humpalotacus, and some of the more persuasive even manage to toilet train them.


a happy pair of humpalots

as a result of their non stop reproductive habits, the p. humpalotacus is no longer on the hotmen colony endangered animal watchlist. the management would like to encourage citizens to adopt and care for their very own humpalot.

one of the esteemed, most reverend, awfully good looking directors with her very own humpalot also told the writer that the only way to befriend a humpalot without doing it, is to feed it copious amounts of sangria. "it works everytime" she said.