Wannabe Damsel Waltzes into Town!!!!!!

In another fanatical episode following a series of similar deranged attempts, an obsessed fan was spotted loitering behind the Cadju Puhulan tree outside Colony Headquarters today. We have been told the fan, identified as Mister MaryJane, has been spotted obsessively following Toby Maguire, an eminent dignitary of the Colony and besieging him with requests to persuade the Colony to reconsider his already thrice rejected application.
Having followed Mr Maguire back to headquarters, the consumed fan then began handing out these Glamour shots of himself to passers-by and visitors. Mister MaryJane was later seen skipping away to the tune of "the hills are alive".

Mr Mguire is reported to be extremely annoyed at being repeatedly stalked by masculine MaryJanes. "This has got to stop", he screamed, "next time I see those buggers I will shoot them with my BB gun".

The Directors could not be reached for an official statement on the matter on account of them being too busy with whiskey and George Clooney. Who can blame them, if we had whiskey and George Clooney, you wouldn't be reading this either.

Joseph Fiennes (is a) Rock!!!!!

The latest ina long line of atrocities committed by the Super Villainess Formerly Known As Medusa, Joseph Fiennes of the Fiennes Brothers Trapeze act, was found half turned in to stone and carefully hidden away in the kitchen, behind the recycling bin at the vile sorceress's flat in London. Attempts at reviving Mr Fiennes ("call me Jo-Bro") was futile as a vigorous shaking merely resulted in his falling over and losing a chunk of his right arm. Mr Fiennes was a respected member of the Hotmen Colony before he was turned in to a half stoney life form, ogled and appreciated by many. The board of directors are yet to determine if a non flesh and blood Joseph Fiennes is an acceptable substitute to the real thing. Reports from inside the offices of the directors sounded vaguely like they were debating this issue most seriously. Screams sounding like "what about the dunda? What about the goddamn dunda?" was heard by the bystanders outside. The matter is yet to be resolved, we trust the directors to come up with a suitable compromise. We were emailed this picture by Unknown Source, Medusa's publicist, she thought it would make a great wallpaper. As if a wallpaper could possibly make up for the loss of a flesh and blood Jo-Bro. Medusa, you should be ashamed.