Joseph Fiennes (is a) Rock!!!!!

The latest ina long line of atrocities committed by the Super Villainess Formerly Known As Medusa, Joseph Fiennes of the Fiennes Brothers Trapeze act, was found half turned in to stone and carefully hidden away in the kitchen, behind the recycling bin at the vile sorceress's flat in London. Attempts at reviving Mr Fiennes ("call me Jo-Bro") was futile as a vigorous shaking merely resulted in his falling over and losing a chunk of his right arm. Mr Fiennes was a respected member of the Hotmen Colony before he was turned in to a half stoney life form, ogled and appreciated by many. The board of directors are yet to determine if a non flesh and blood Joseph Fiennes is an acceptable substitute to the real thing. Reports from inside the offices of the directors sounded vaguely like they were debating this issue most seriously. Screams sounding like "what about the dunda? What about the goddamn dunda?" was heard by the bystanders outside. The matter is yet to be resolved, we trust the directors to come up with a suitable compromise. We were emailed this picture by Unknown Source, Medusa's publicist, she thought it would make a great wallpaper. As if a wallpaper could possibly make up for the loss of a flesh and blood Jo-Bro. Medusa, you should be ashamed.