In another fanatical episode following a series of similar deranged attempts, an obsessed fan was spotted loitering behind the Cadju Puhulan tree outside Colony Headquarters today. We have been told the fan, identified as Mister MaryJane, has been spotted obsessively following Toby Maguire, an eminent dignitary of the Colony and besieging him with requests to persuade the Colony to reconsider his already thrice rejected application.
Having followed Mr Maguire back to headquarters, the consumed fan then began handing out these Glamour shots of himself to passers-by and visitors. Mister MaryJane was later seen skipping away to the tune of "the hills are alive".
Mr Mguire is reported to be extremely annoyed at being repeatedly stalked by masculine MaryJanes. "This has got to stop", he screamed, "next time I see those buggers I will shoot them with my BB gun".
The Directors could not be reached for an official statement on the matter on account of them being too busy with whiskey and George Clooney. Who can blame them, if we had whiskey and George Clooney, you wouldn't be reading this either.
Having followed Mr Maguire back to headquarters, the consumed fan then began handing out these Glamour shots of himself to passers-by and visitors. Mister MaryJane was later seen skipping away to the tune of "the hills are alive".
Mr Mguire is reported to be extremely annoyed at being repeatedly stalked by masculine MaryJanes. "This has got to stop", he screamed, "next time I see those buggers I will shoot them with my BB gun".
The Directors could not be reached for an official statement on the matter on account of them being too busy with whiskey and George Clooney. Who can blame them, if we had whiskey and George Clooney, you wouldn't be reading this either.
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