Notable dignitary,and the Favourite Hunk of the colony, Javier Bardem was recently spotted skulking around dangerously with his favourite "No Country for Old Men" prop famously used to dispose of irritating vagrants. Further investigation revealed that his long time live in sweetheart, Miss D. Daliances has been repeatedly spotted canoodling on midnight Frozen Yoghurt runs with none other than the notoriously crazy John Mayer.
Mr. Bardem is reported to have confronted the two about the situation and had completely lost his temper when Mr Mayer mistakenly tried to calm him down by breaking out into a soulful rendition of "Your Body Is A Wonderland". Tsk Tsk, Mr. Mayer, that was so last year.
This merely induced Mr. Bardem to grab his Oxygen Tank-Silencer-Airgun and aim it at Mr. Mayer shouting "enough is enough you vermh!" (vermh=worm in sexyspanishaccent). Mr. Mayer was later seen by several witnesses running away in to the sunset (or what he thought was the sunset, but was instead an oncoming container truck). Mr Bardem, then sure of his D.Daliances undivided attention, disposed of the airgun and went back to being the handsome hero we all know.
Charges will not be made against Mr. Bardem, the Directors of the HotMen Colony said, because he's very very Good Looking.
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